Thursday, April 21, 2016

Believe It Or Not

As most of you know, my beloved mother passed away on September 26, 2002 after fighting lung cancer for 2 years. Although she has been gone for almost 14 years I still miss her today as much as ever! I hate that my memory of her and the sound of her voice has faded some but sometimes something will come back to me so vividly that it can take my breath away!

I never gave much thought to what happens to someone after they die. I was raised Catholic so I thought you either went to heaven to be with God, went to hell or were stuck in purgatory for some reason and that was that! Never to be heard from again.

After I left the Catholic Church and my mind opened up a little,  I started to believe that the dead could and do communicate with the living occasionally. There was enough little signs that I had heard from other people that made me believe that could be true. For example: My grandfather died and one day a few years later the whole family was at my grandmothers house. My niece who was 3 at the time wandered into one of the back bedrooms, and then came running out telling her dad that she saw a "man" back there! After investigating and finding no one and being suspicious, he showed her a family picture and she pointed right to my grandfather and said that was him!  She couldn't possibly have remembered him because she was a baby when he died.

There were other things but nothing happened to me personally. That is until my mom died.

She and I were very close. As her only daughter we did a lot of things together. Between my three brothers and my dad it was like the two of us were an island in a sea of testosterone! I felt her absence very deeply, especially at family gatherings.

One night a few months after she died, I was reading in bed which I do every night. Rich was next to me sleeping. I was just starting to doze off when suddenly I saw her in my right side peripheral vision, felt her kiss my cheek and heard a soft kissing sound.  My eyes flew open! I literally could still feel her kiss on my cheek. I saw her, I felt her and I heard her and it was definitely not a dream! I started to cry because I was so happy that she found a way to visit me! I still remember that vividly.

My mom had a watch that she wore every day of her life.  I used to wear it occasionally after she died because it is a nice watch and used to be hers! One day I was at home by myself and I had her watch on. Planning on doing some cleaning, I took it off and set it on the stairs to take upstairs with me next time I went up. Now the first half of the stairway is open with spindles and runs along the front hallway. The stairs are set down below the line of the wall so you can't slide anything off it has to be lifted. I set the watch on the stair, walked into the kitchen, and no sooner had I turned the corner than I heard her watch hit the floor. I backed up about three steps and looked, and sure enough it was sitting in the middle of the hallway!

Now I have five cats and they knock stuff on the floor all the time but in this case a) they would have had to lift it and throw it, b) they were all sleeping and c) cats never run away when they knock stuff off a surface, they always sit there and look at it!  So I picked up the watch, smiled and thanked my mom for saying hi and put it back on the stairs!

I know without a doubt those two things were my mom finding a way to tell me that her spirit is still with me and always will be. There is so many times throughout the years that I can feel her around me sure as I breath.  

So there you have it. I truly believe that was her and I do wish she would come around more often! It's been quite a few years since I've even dreamed of her.

Maybe she knows that we have all found peace with living without her.

Until the next time..


Sally said...

I know you miss your mother so much, buddy. I'm glad you had those experiences after she passed, and that gave you some peace. After my brother had been gone for several months, I heard him say "I'm not really dead, Sally" That moment I began to feel more at ease with him gone, and stopped crying every single night.

This world is a strange place at times, and I think it's wonderful that we all have different beliefs. I do believe in Heaven, and I have faith I'll see my family in friends there when my day comes.

I'm so glad you shared this with us, thank you.


Paula Kaye said...

I am a believer too! My dad, who died when I was 7, came to visit me the night before I was married the first time. I get much comfort from these visits. It looks like you do too! I look forward to the day I join Richard in heaven. I wish he would visit me more often here on earth!!

Inger said...

I have never had a visitor, but my mom lives in my heart forever and I still talk to her often. You may want to read my post today, April 22, the first anniversary of Errol's death. I write about our souls.

Judy said...

These happenings ARE amazing, aren't they?

Donna said...

I'll be 20 yrs for me and everyday I miss her and Dad...
Yep, I also left the Catholic church years ago...and there IS a whole new world out there...

Optimistic Existentialist said...

So heartwarming...I love this post. And I smiled at the serendipitous way that your mom said hi :)

sonia a. mascaro said...

I miss my Mom and Dad too.
Your post is so touching...

Thanks for your visit and comment on my blog.